3 Logical Fallacies And Why They're Good

There is literally no one less qualified to talk about this than me, but since that’s actually kind of the point… I’ll carry on and hope Aristotle doesn’t roll over in his grave.

A long time ago someone observed the way humans argue about things (the kind that wasn't entirely comprised of stabbing them or something). This person waxed eloquent with a pen for a very long time and dubbed it "Rhetoric" i.e. "How to convince someone Trump is Hitler by saying "I can't even....<emoticon> <emoticon>" (I kid, I kid, that's obviously only one example). 

There are two sorts of Rhetoric, external and internal.  External is boring, so moving on…

Internal Rhetoric is where it’s at. It’s the Rembrandt of persuasion, the beauty of The Colbert Report and pretty much the gas station that fuels Twitter, Facebook and Instagram (my exact age can probably be deduced Sherlock Holmes style from that sentence). Under this internal rhetoric is a whole bunch of important stuff like charisma and logic but zooming way in there is fallacy (which sounds vaguely dirty and probably has some etymological correlation). Fallacies get a bad rap these days and it’s such a bummer. Instead of thinking of fallacies as bad logic (which it is), think of it as shortcut to winning! Logic is like bringing a knife to a gunfight...you can only use knives if everyone else is.     

For your perusal, here are the three best ones to use during this election season. All sides, including my own bastardized side use it, so I’ll try to be fair. 

Ad Hominem

The two presidential candidates aren’t even the guiltiest of this and you see it mostly in comment threads when things get heated. I think the reason is actually biological. When someone encounters views they consider dangerous the first instinct is to do the philosophical version of curling up in the fetal position and yelling “LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEARS!”. If you feel your chest start to tighten up and your blood start to pound in your ears as you can’t believe the rubbish someone is posting this is a warning sign you might be about to launch an ad hominem attack.  

 

Correlation does not imply causation

This is a personal favorite and I find myself using it all of the time. In my defense I think humans are infinitely suspicious creatures and it’s second nature to see connecting strands. Often times those connecting strands might even be correct! I vote everyone puts their correlative/causation opinions in a big jar and bury them in a time capsule. In twenty years take them all out and see which ones Father Time has fulfilled with missing pieces and see if there is a pattern on who had the more right correlations. I think this is what Solomon would do.  

 

Strawman

Straw man fallacies are more of a team sport. It typically happens when you’ve split a concept into two sides (Vaccines are bad/good...public school is bad/good…immigration is bad/good). This sets the stage for the strawman catapult which is a projectile you launch into the enemy camp with the word “seems” loaded on it. Anytime you see someone say “it seems like…” you can rest soothingly in the knowledge you’re about to get taken out by a strawman attack. Related to this is calling a position “hate” or arguing for “love”. Both are abstract concepts with a multitude of interpretations, but they carry strong emotional weight so it’s an easy way to take the opposing side down.  And it’s understandable, humans like to win. If we didn’t, we would have died out a long time ago. No one wants to be on the losing side, and no one wants to look foolish so we all hope we’ve picked, if not the winning side, then at least the righteous side.  

 

Of course the number of fallacies are like stars in the sky, and this list barely scratches the surface, but knowledge is power and all that. My rule of thumb is this: If the person is waving the white flag of reason, then by all means bench the fallacies and discourse accordingly. But if the battle lines are drawn and everyone has shown up with rhetoric, then it’s not only a waste, it’s counterproductive to use anything dialectic, so let it go and let your fallacies fly.  

 

 

A Mom's Minimalist Guide To The Beach

Frankly I knew it was inevitable. Life is always a Faustian trade of evils (or joys...depending on how rose colored your glasses are). When the two older kids left for their very Parisian-esque rural outsourcing of summer (see Bringing Up Bebe), I w…

Frankly I knew it was inevitable. Life is always a Faustian trade of evils (or joys...depending on how rose colored your glasses are). When the two older kids left for their very Parisian-esque rural outsourcing of summer (see Bringing Up Bebe), I was tempted to think of all the amazing things I was going to accomplish. It’s hard to get anything done when you’re doing your best impression of zookeeper/professor/therapist twentyfour-seven for nine months of the year and I was much looking forward to the break.  

Well I got it. Truly. From everything. No violin, no sports, no therapy, no school meetings, no staying up until midnight trying to grow rock crystals on a toothpick. I traded the busy life of four kids where I couldn't keep the house clean, but did accomplish important things (like how to take a booger out with tissue), to a the slower easier life of two kids where the house stays clean but not accomplish anything big. Mainly because you belatedly realize the younger two are stuck to you like glue without their built in entertainers and playmates. But going backwards in family size (temporarily) does have its fair list of perks. The laundry stays only one or two loads behind, the kitchen is almost always in a mildly presentable state (the fruit flies are suing for breach of contract), and the house actually gets vacuumed regularly.    But I was kidding myself to think I could get any big mind-blowing projects accomplished. Thus it was with great difficulty I let go of my pipe dreams and resigned myself to sleeping in every morning, putzing around the house teaching my preschooler how to fold washcloths before finally going to the beach or pool.

I would like to say that I’m so organized that going to the beach is a painless affair, but instead it’s the opposite, I’m so unorganized going to the beach is a (mostly) painless affair. Of course I’ve got “science” to back up all of my justifications for this, and I thought I’d share them in case someone else is looking for a way to spend more time having fun and less time trying to get out the door. 


Disclaimer:  (If you are one of those uber prepared types that has a ziploc baggie for your ziploc baggie, then please close your eyes and don’t read this.  The world needs more of you and less of me.  In a Darwinian experiment I’m the first to die out i.e. I’m more than grateful for the times I’ve been helped by the preparers)

Don't bring sunblock or snacks and only bring a limited amount of water (or none if you know there's a drinking fountain)

I say this somewhat tongue in cheek because I do actually have a thing of sunblock that stays in my beach bag, but it usually takes us the whole summer to get through it. And the logic is this. Your body is an amazing machine that knows when it's hungry, tired, and had too much sun. Things like pretzels, doritos and sunblock override this built in safety mechanism which means you end up at home exhausted bloated, overly slathered with chemicals and cranky from the combination of artificial cheese flavor and that sunburned spot behind your knees you missed. Trust the human body to go “ugh, I’m really hot and hungry and I swear I can feel cancer cells forming on my body right now.” That’s when you know it’s time to load up the kids and head home. On the plus side, this usually means everyone gets their naps (or have gotten their naps), and you have time to plan dinner, paint your toes and eat bon bons.  ( here is a harvard medical publication advocating the health benefits of moderate sun exposure).

 

Don't bring a picnic blanket, chairs or umbrella

In the book “Blue Mind” Wallace Nichols talks about the science behind going to the beach or even just being in water. Dopaminergic pathways, neuro plasticity, auditory cortex physiology, textural and vestibular input are all scientific ways to say the ocean is really good for you. The chemical makeup of the salt water, the minerals, the ebb and flow of the waves, and the sand are all incredibly soothing and healthy for your brain and body. I like to think of a little beach trip being like a soft reboot. Between all of that and the vitamin D, I also try to take my kids to a deserted beach when they’re under the weather. But back to the packing list… most of those things don’t work if you’re sitting on a chair, on a blanket, under an umbrella, with water shoes, rash guard and sun hat on. If you have kids who are low threshold on the sensory spectrum then they likely won’t want to budge out of the little fortress of protection against the dread elements and will take any suggestions to the contrary as torture of the highest degree with you as the grand inquisitor. It may take awhile, but they'll be happier in the long run. (note: ignore this if you have kids with severe processing disorders)

 

Don't load and unload the car

There’s no scientific theory behind this one, unless it’s Newton’s first law of motion (An object at rest remains at rest until mommy decides the towels are starting to smell). I use a big green plastic container from IKEA and that’s where the sand toys, floaties and towels live in the back of the car. The baby carrier also lives in the car so literally all that needs to be done to go to the beach or pool is getting in the car and leaving. (which if you have kids, you know is a feat in and of itself)

 

Do pack a magic sand eraser

There’s only one gimmicky item that’s made it into my super lazy...er minimalist beach container and that’s a bamboo swaddle blanket. I discovered this black magic entirely by accident last summer.  West coast sand has these gold flakes in it that stick to skin like glitter (which isn’t nearly as pretty as it sounds). Anyone who has tried to get four kids rinsed and sand free before they get in the car, knows it’s on the same level as completing a triathlon (one armed with a wet cat zip tied to your leg). Once, in desperation I yanked the blanket off the weakest member of the tribe in an assuredly futile attempt to get at least some of the caked wet sand off…. and Lo and behold it worked! So the swaddle blanket earned itself a permanent spot in the beach bag. I have considered getting myself a booth at the county fair “Step right up and let me show you the one and only MAGIC SAND ERASER for a low low price of $49.99 today only!!”. If however you decide to get yourself three for that price on Amazon, it does have to be the bamboo one. The cotton ones don’t work as well for some reason.  

And that’s it. Simple! Easy! (I’m kidding, we all know it’s never easy). And sometimes I do pack all of the foods and huddle under my friends umbrella and lust after all of the cool beach stuff everyone else has. But hey do whatever you gotta do. (and if you’re a preparer and you’ve made it to the end of this, then here’s a Valium and some wine, thank you for loving me).  

 

A Different Take On Bullying

In a case of “Which came first, the egg or the chicken?” insomnia is one of those things where I’m not sure if I can’t sleep and therefore I get sucked into the black hole that is internet science/medicine research (IFL Science!...cough cough).  Or if I have insomnia because quite frankly anyone would if they’d just read fifty pages on bacteria eating brain tissue and pooping out (potential) Alzheimers.  

 

I was on one such adventure last night, where I was deep in the bowels of google, when I came across this and thought more people might find it interesting than just me.  (of course the light of day and the return to sanity that brings, has me less sure, but I’m sharing nonetheless).  

“Education.

  • Anti-bullying measures, as currently implemented, cause more bullying, not less.

  • Multi-modal literacy is best developed, not by controlled exposure to diverse modes or incorporation of desired modes into curricula, but by specific free mode-exploration, accompanied by triggers for hot cognition.”

Now being the mother of dragons...er boys, I feel like I’ve been given a front row ticket on the issue of bullying.  I have certain suspicions that truly vicious bullying is an Fe function (myers briggs).  Which isn’t to say that only FJ’s bully, but that all other types (I’m looking at you ENTJ) are probably using the Fe function in some way.  My observation among children supports this, as it is usually the most socially intuitive kids who are doing the bullying, and it’s usually the T’s who are on the receiving end (being awkward and socially low aware).   This matches with the above hypothesis, that current anti-bullying solutions don’t actually work because they benefit the kids with higher awareness/consciousness.

I tutor at my kids class day (for lack of a better term) and ran into some bullying this year.  It was difficult figuring out how to address it because the cases were far too nuanced with deviant behavior happening usually from both the bully and the bullied.  The usual intervention only resulted in more ostracization and attention drawing to the problem with widened the aforementioned social gap.   

He says more:

I've received numerous replies asking me to clarify, elaborate, and/or speak in plain language. I didn't realize this would be such a hot topic, so I apologize for not elaborating to begin with. I will do so now.

  • Bullying:

There are many, many different anti-bullying initiatives being implemented (in North America, where I teach) but most of them (in my opinion) rely on purely philosophical and rational, as opposed to empirical (and evidence based) models.

The current push in the school where I teach is what I would call a "holistic" approach, where the focus is on the average student, and THEIR response to bullying, rather than adressing the conditions and results of the bullies and the victims of bullying. Rather than punishing bullies, or protecting victims, I see administrations admonishing the student body as a whole, and asking them to "speak out" and "stand up" to bullying where and when they see it.

The idea, as far as I can understand it (and I've read many papers on the subject), is that bullying can't happen if you promote and encourage an environment of acceptance, and zero-tolerance for bullying amongst the student body. By encouraging students to stand up for each other, and call out bullying behaviors when they see it -- rather than stay silent -- you eliminate bullying.

The reality, in my experience, is that this policy leaves victims powerless, and lets bullies off the hook. The onus for protecting vulnerable students gets passed from teachers and administrators to the students themselves -- the persons least equipped and mature enough to deal with the issue. The result is that ordinary students feel guilt and shame, and react in the obvious way -- with group-think and witch-hunts. Meanwhile, victims receive zero support. Actual bullies are treated with kid gloves, and even get special attention and extra resources. Vastly more, in fact.

I would personally recommend abolishing zero-tolerance policies, abandoning "holistic", "whole school" approaches to combating bullying, and instead empower teachers and administrators to use their natural authority to identify chronic bullies and abusers, and deal with them on an individual basis, and with actual consequences.

There is this idea afloat, currently, which I do NOT believe is supported by the body of the evidence, that you can reduce the burden to society by keeping very troubled and potentially dangerous students "in the system" where they can receive help, rather than discarding them, where they have a good chance of becoming criminals, and falling through the cracks of society.

On the surface, it makes a lot of sense, and is very compassionate. But it ignores the tremendous, tremendous damage that these students do to the education and socialization of all the other students -- and especially the vulnerable students who suffer the most.

I personally feel that the trade-off we're currently making -- where the vast majority of students are forced to suffer terrible learning conditions and potential violence, while simultaneously being asked to "be responsible" themselves for their deranged peers' actions, is not only unfair, but damaging, and unsustainable.

The damage we are doing to healthy and happy children by refusing to punish and remove obvious bullies from the system is WORSE than the damage to society that is caused by letting those few damaged children that are the problem, to fall through the cracks. In my opinion.

I am in favor of abandoning, "inclusion" and "mainstreaming" policies, and bringing back special schools and classrooms for troubled children.”

Anyway, you can read the rest here. I found his take extremely thought provoking and definitely in line with what I’ve observed.   But I’m interested in other perspectives and opinions.   





 

Multitask Your Way To A Skinnier You

Every now and then I get into a hardcore debate with someone who thinks Myers Briggs is scientific rubbish.  I don’t mind.  Life is multiple choice that way, the other options for conflict include theology, politics or parenting and after you’ve been in a few nuclear showdowns about baby led weaning vs. rice cereal at 3 months ( that are so passive aggressive any eavesdropping man would have mistaken the napalm as showers of lily blossoms) you find joy in discussing whether or not sixteen personality types force 7.4 billion people into a box or not.  

Multitasking is another thing that’s scientific rubbish these days.  But I would argue (regarding this and Myers Briggs) that it all depends on your perspective and definitions.   

Sometimes I feel like  a terrible female.  I know I’m supposed to love yoga, small dogs and world travel, but I prefer to practice pàisdean (gaelic for “children”, i.e. muscle suavity obtained by chasing four active little boys around all day), I only like dogs large enough to eat bad guys, and would happily claim a plot of earth with my husband and swear fealty to it.   When my beloved little sister asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding...across the country, I immediately started charting “how much do I love thee” on an x y axis.  After much denial, head-in-the-sanding, and throwing my phone at outrageous ticket prices I summoned the strength of my inner viking ancestors and sallied forth on a metal coffin with no leg room and eight dollar drinks.    

Unfortunately I don’t have a phobia of flying or germs or anything conveniently treated with valium.  I prefer to pack my demons with me in their more tangible form.   Small children you have to trundle along to your destination without a) them killing themselves, b) someone else wringing their neck c) you doing all of the above.   J being the wiser half, decided he had work requirements that kept him at home.  

But on to the secret cure-all workout.

  1. Fly a budget airline that doles even water out with all the stinginess of a desert crossing nomad.   Pack all of your belongings into carry-on.  

  2. Bring a lap child.  Make sure your connections are too tight to gate-check a stroller.

  3. Sabotage the weather so those short connections turn into multi-hour delays.  

  4. Release the kracken...er toddler into a busy airport and follow it.

What this will gain you (besides a cardio and functional strength workout that rivals Crossfit) .  

This is where the multi-tasking comes in.  At the end of three hours you will have…

  1. Memorized the floor plan of every concourse.  This is helpful if there is a mass shooting as you are on a first name basis with all of the emergency exits your child tried to go through.  It is also helpful for your career as a virtual signpost, pointing bedraggled travelers to their port in the storm.  

  2. You will have an in depth comprehensive analysis on what the current fashion trends are and who should and should not wear them.  

  3. You will start to see patterns of human behavior.  Like creepy men smile and look side to side a lot, and attractive men stare straight ahead like a predator. I know...it doesn’t entirely make sense and surprised me too.  Normal looking people have facial expressions that are totally neutral and chill...like they too were once a toddler who cut their teeth terrorizing every square inch of the place.  Also, grandmas of every nationality like to give out candy and treats.  I can only assume this is how the Hansel and Gretel story originated.

I was worried I would come back from the south ten lbs heavier from a steady diet of biscuits and beer, but instead I’m slimmer and wiser.   The nervous twitch, and tick bites are barely noticeable at all.